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“Leaving on a Jet Plane (Spirit Airlines Diss Track)”

(to the tune of the original)

Verse 1:
All my bags are packed, I’m on delay,
Spirit lied to me again today,
The gate’s a mess, and there’s no one to care.
They took my cash, my time, my shares,
While Ted Christie’s counting millions there,
This airline’s got no shame, it’s so unfair.

Chorus:
I’m leavin’ on a jet plane,
But Spirit robbed me blind again,
Oh, Ted, you’ve lost all control.
I’m leavin’ on a jet plane,
Their stock’s worth less than pocket change,
Spirit has no soul.

Verse 2:
The bags are lost, their planes are late,
Customer service? Nah, it’s just clickbait.
A Spirit ticket’s just a gamble, can’t you see?
They cancel flights without remorse,
Now shareholders are bankrupt, of course,
Ted, your bonus reeks of villainy.

Chorus:
I’m leavin’ on a jet plane,
While investors drown in pain,
Oh, Spirit, what a troll.
I’m leavin’ on a jet plane,
Shareholders see their wealth profaned,
You’ve lost all control.

Bridge:
You could’ve been honest,
But you took and ran,
You fooled us all,
There was no plan.
Now we’re stranded,
And it’s all on you.

Final Chorus:
I’m leavin’ on a jet plane,
But never flying Spirit again,
Oh, Ted, your greed’s taken a toll.
I’m leavin’ on a jet plane,
Hoping lawsuits cause your pain,
Spirit has no soul.

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